When You Can't Stop Fixing Everything
When You Feel It's 'All up to You'
Do you feel like you're the only one who can do things right?
Veronika came to our session speaking faster than normal.
She felt overwhelmed.
Her team wasn't grasping things quickly enough.
If they failed, she'd have to clean it up.
A project had gone wrong.
She found out too late.
This confirmed her belief that she was needed at every turn.
When Being the 'Fixer' Creates More Stress
This belief created stress for everyone.
As she moved around them, her team became resentful.
Their passive-aggressive response?
"Let her handle it."
After all, no one could do it as well as she could.
Right?
The Question That Changed Her Approach
When we discussed it further, Veronika laughed.
She knew she didn't always have the right answers.
But her drive to "fix things before they break" was strong.
So I asked her: "What would it be like to enter a meeting and do nothing but ask questions?"
She looked curious and responded: "What would be the point?"
What She Discovered Through Questions
As we spoke further, Veronica realized something.
If she used questions rather than demands, she might stretch both her team and herself.
Her constant directions protected her from ambiguity.
From uncertainty.
From watching mistakes happen.
Yet these were skills Veronika needed to develop if she wanted to progress.
The Experiment That Reduced Her Overwhelm
I encouraged her to experiment in upcoming meetings.
Use only open questions.
Those starting with "Who, What, Why, When" or "How."
She brainstormed the difference with me.
"Where would you start on tackling this project?" felt less judgmental and even potentially less risky to the end result than "Do you know where to start with this project?"
Veronica laughed. More people would say "Yes" to a closed question like that even when they weren't sure.
Ready to Lead Without the Overwhelm?
Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll explore your biggest challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Most of my clients are employer-funded.
Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I can help you through that goal.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
About Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris
Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.
For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.
She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieving Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."
80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.
Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.
Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
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The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
