When a Difficult Colleague Becomes Your Greatest Teacher
How Do You Respond When Someone Questions Your Value?
Jennifer, a senior tech leader, faced a situation many accomplished women know too well.
A Board colleague spent 30 minutes questioning her presence.
He didn't understand her value.
He publicly asked why she'd been invited.
Then he asked to meet again because he wasn't finished with his tirade.
Months earlier, this would have devastated her.
Now? She called it a "great story."
The Evidence Was Already There
Jennifer didn't seek reassurance from me as her coach.
In our discussion, we went to the evidence.
No one else objected to her presence.
Her boss Brian specifically invited her to keep the group organised and accountable.
After all, Brian had promoted her because the team wasn't progressing fast enough without her.
The difficult colleague's comments weren't about her competence.
They reflected his discomfort with shifting power dynamics... he was losing power.
Where Your Energy Goes Matters
Jennifer told me: "The more mental energy I give John, the less time I'm giving the projects I'm leading for Brian, and there's no way I'm doing that."
She realised she didn't work for John.
She worked for Brian.
That distinction mattered.
This Wasn't About Advice
I didn't tell Jennifer how to interpret the situation.
She discovered her own reframe through our coaching conversation.
AI can list strategies for handling difficult colleagues, but it can't help you discover which insights matter for YOUR specific workplace dynamics.
This is what strategic questions unlock.
Not generic advice, but your own evidence-based conclusions and what I'm hearing as your coach.
The Transformation Takes Time
Jennifer spent months in the Peak Resilience Accelerator, which I run for in-house teams, before this breakthrough emerged.
The programme doesn't fix confidence.
It helps accomplished women recognise the competence they already demonstrate.
With 25 years of coaching experience and a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering, I've seen this pattern repeatedly.
Women don't need more self-assurance.
They need better questions that help them see their existing evidence.
Ready to transform how you navigate difficult colleagues?
Email me at Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll explore your biggest challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Most of my clients are employer-funded.
Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I can help you through that goal.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
About Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris
Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.
For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.
She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieve Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."
80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.
Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.
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Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
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The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
