The Questions That Changed How She Negotiated
What Do You Do When the Support You Were Promised Never Arrives?
Nicky took on a challenging new project that everyone was 'excited' about.
Her boss promised it would improve her rating.
She'd have team support.
Four months later? Neither materialised.
She was brilliant at her previous role.
Now she was struggling, isolated, and starting to wonder if anyone actually cared about this "innovative" project.
The Question She Needed to Ask First
Nicky is a project manager in the IT team of a pharmaceuticals firm and my executive coaching client.
When we talked, she was frustrated but didn't want to complain.
She enjoyed the company and didn't want to leave.
But she also didn't want to keep spinning her wheels on a project that might never have been a real priority.
I asked her: 'What would an honest conversation with your boss look like?'
She paused.
I watched her consider what "honest" might mean in this context.
Not complaining. Not accusing.
Just asking tough questions that would help her understand where she truly stood.
The Space to Think It Through
Negotiating for support isn't about demanding more resources.
It's about understanding whether what you're working on matters to the people who control those resources.
Nicky reflected on what she actually needed to know.
The silence in our session stretched as she worked through her thinking.
This wasn't about my telling her what questions to ask.
She needed to discover what she genuinely wanted to understand.
Then she identified questions she wanted to ask David, her boss.
Simple questions. Strategic questions.
Questions that would reveal whether this project was still a priority:
Who on the senior team championed this project?
What would it mean if the project failed?
What does success look like, with limited resources?
Her Reflection Changed Everything
Notice what Nicky did.
She didn't complain about broken promises.
She asked questions that invited David to reflect alongside her.
Questions that acknowledged the reality whilst exploring what could still be salvaged.
This required vulnerability.
She had to admit she hadn't made the progress she wanted.
But she framed it with curiosity, not blame.
That shift came from her own reflection on what she actually needed from the conversation.
AI Can't Navigate This
AI can give you a list of negotiation tactics.
It can't help you sit with the discomfort of admitting a project isn't going well whilst maintaining your credibility.
It can't hold space whilst you work through what you genuinely need to know versus what you think you should ask.
Coaching creates room for that reflection and to make the mental shifts.
The power wasn't in my suggesting questions.
It was in Nicky reflecting on her situation until she saw what she needed to understand.
That's how strategic questions emerge—from your own thinking, not someone else's template.
What Negotiating for Support Actually Means
Over 25 years coaching senior women in STEM, I've seen this pattern repeatedly.
Accomplished women take on challenging assignments with vague promises of support.
When that support doesn't materialise, they wonder if they're not important enough or if they're doing something wrong.
Usually, it's neither.
Often, it's that no one has asked the tough questions that force clarity.
Negotiating for support means creating conversations where everyone has to acknowledge reality—not just you carrying the weight alone.
The Conversation Transformed Her Position
Nicky had that conversation with David.
His answers revealed that the project still mattered, but internal priorities had shifted.
He hadn't realised how isolated she felt or how much the lack of support was hindering progress.
Because she asked strategic questions rather than complaining, David became her ally in solving the problem.
They identified two people who could support her.
They negotiated what "success" actually meant given current constraints.
Nicky didn't get everything she originally wanted.
But she got clarity, realistic expectations, and a recognition she needed more support.
That came from her willingness to reflect on what she needed to understand and then ask for it directly.
Ready to negotiate for what you truly need?
Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll explore your biggest challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Most of my clients are employer-funded.
Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I can help you through that goal.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
About Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris
Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll explore your biggest challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Most of my clients are employer-funded.
Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I can help you through that goal.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.
For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.
She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieving Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."
80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.
Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.
Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.
For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.
She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieving Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."
80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.
Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.
Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
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Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
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