Her Boss Wanted to Call Her 'Mandy'. Her Response Could Change How You Handle Microaggressions.
When Small Slights Accumulate
Ever struggle to describe what just happened but know something felt off?
Amandla did.
A legal professional, she couldn't point to one big discriminatory moment.
The slights were subtle.
Forgotten meeting invitations.
Her name mispronounced repeatedly.
Then her boss asked: "Can I just call you Amanda? It's easier for me. They are virtually the same after all."
The Question That Revealed the Pattern
With his seniority, Amandla just gave him a questioning look.
She didn't say no explicitly.
So he took that as yes.
Now everyone he introduced her to called her "Amanda" or worse, "Mandy."
Through our coaching conversations, I asked: "Whose convenience actually matters?"
What the Silence Cost Her
Amandla realized she'd been questioning herself more than questioning him.
Each time she stayed silent, she gave permission for the next slight.
Microaggressions aren't one-time events.
They're repeated patterns that send messages about who's valued.
Together, she practiced variations on one response: "Actually, my name is Amandla. I'll answer faster if you use it - something that's good for both of us."
Ready to Set Boundaries More Effectively?
Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll explore your biggest challenge, your specific situation and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Most of my clients are employer-funded.
If you're wondering whether your company would support this kind of professional development, that's exactly the kind of question we can explore together.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
About Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris
Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.
For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.
She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieving Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."
80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.
Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.
Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
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The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
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