Communicating well with stakeholders can feel intimidating or inspirational, depending on how you handle it.

Here's the thing: talking more isn't the answer.

If you want more engaging one-to-ones with your boss, I've got you covered.

These techniques take you from dread to motivated.

Trust me, you'll wish you'd known this years ago.

Moira oversees a busy lab and is an executive coaching client of mine.

She dreaded her one-to-ones with Phil, her boss.

Why?

Phil loved using their meetings to pick up on every small error she made.

They weren't a chance to talk about direction.

They felt like a 30-minute inquisition.

This was particularly frustrating because Moira was brilliant at her job.

In 2 years, applicants from other parts of the organisation wanting to join her team had nearly doubled.

They wanted to leave teams with bad leaders.

That's a massive testament to her leadership.

But Phil? He didn't value this achievement.

Instead, he chided her for being 'touchy-feely' with her team.

He criticised her for defending them from his attacks.

Moira 'flipped' their next meeting completely.

She didn't bring the long slide deck.

That stayed on her laptop, unopened.

Instead, she came with strategic questions designed to get Phil on side.

They were also designed to understand where she was going 'wrong' in his eyes.

In our next coaching session, Moira couldn't wait to tell me what happened.

"Communicating well with Phil was so much easier when I didn't go in with all the answers!"

Instead of her normal 30-minute presentation followed by critique?

Moira gave a tight 5 minute update.

Then she used her remaining 25 minutes asking probing questions.

Here's exactly what Moira asked.

Feel free to use these:

About perspective and blind spots:

• What's your read on this?

• What might I be missing?

About organisational dynamics:

• What's the appetite internally for this work?

• Who is most engaged with this?

About concerns and consultation:

• What are your main concerns here?

• Who else should I be consulting with?

About progress and wins:

• What are we doing particularly well?

• Where have I made the greatest advances?

Notice what's happening here.

Moira's no longer defending.

She's engaging Phil as a strategic partner.

And Phil?

Phil loved it.

Over the following months, something remarkable happened.

The entire dynamic between them shifted.

She felt less like she was "reporting in" to an ever-critical boss.

She felt more like they were peers collaborating on the best way forward.

Phil began giving Moira more trust and time.

Why?

She was evidencing her thinking through questions.

She was showing strategic awareness, not just task completion.

And here's the beautiful irony: their sessions went from a painful 30 minutes to a leisurely 60 minutes - extra time he happily now gave her!

They bounced ideas off one another.

She heard on the grapevine that Phil told a peer of his he actually looked forward to their meetings!

What a complete turn-around for Moira!

Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.

We'll discuss your biggest workplace challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.

Most of my clients are employer-funded!

Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I CAN help you get there.

Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.

For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.

She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieve Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."

80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.

Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.