How to Go Deep in Conversations for Maximum Career Impact
Why Surface-Level Responses Keep You Invisible
Meeting a new person at work, at a networking event, or at an interview can be a challenge.
But this vital piece of office communication is easier if you go 'deep', even from the first 'How are you?'
When I wrote 'Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieving Career Success as a Woman in a Male Dominated Field', I was reminded of this when I first met Eileen Brown.
I interviewed her regarding her longtime technology expertise in IT, as you know, a field not known for its 'female friendliness'.
Office Communication Starts With Putting People at Ease
From the first moment, Brown illustrated the ease with which she put people at ease.
When I asked her the standard 'how are you?', she avoided the 'good' or 'busy' response to which we're all accustomed.
Instead, she quickly responded 'fine', but then creatively elaborated with a few extra details.
The Courgette Story
Brown was indeed 'fine'.
However, she was also 'nervously trusting her husband to harvest all the courgettes from her garden so they didn't rot whilst she was travelling'.
Certainly, it was more information than I normally get back when I ask 'how are you?'
I smiled, relaxed, and it led us to talk about gardening for several minutes.
In those first few minutes we bonded over our mutual love of certain types of homemade jam.
This rapport-building meant we had a great start for our interview.
Using charm and humour as part of your communication skills is a good starting point for anyone wanting to develop better relationships.
Office Communication Can Be Honed Anywhere
Brown described in our interview how her move from the Merchant Navy to IT was the result of a fortuitous conversation where she again offered that extra sentence.
Brown remembered: "I sat in an Amsterdam airport in the winter after returning from Mexico. I had flip-flops, no socks, and tanned legs. I turned to the stranger next to me and asked if it was going to be this freezing in the UK."
The Airport Conversation That Changed Everything
"He looked surprised I had struck up a conversation. He then asked me where I had been. I explained I had just left the Merchant Navy on some big projects and was now looking for work in East Anglia, as I was about to get married.
As it turns out, he remarked he knew a guy in the IT sector who lived in East Anglia … and the rest is history."
That extra sentence—the detail about leaving the Merchant Navy and looking for work—turned a throwaway comment about weather into a career-changing connection.
What Women in Male-Dominated Fields Know About Communication
Trusting her gut and being charming has continued to work well for Eileen, now a digital marketing consultant, as well as for many other successful women in male-dominated fields.
These women often have to trade on their ace communication skills.
It often sets them apart from less 'communicative' colleagues.
The Learning Never Stops
One of the things I love about working with women in male-dominated fields like Eileen's sector of technology is that they always want to know more, to learn more, to be more.
They know that even once they have the technical qualification, the learning doesn't stop—nor do they want it to.
For example, they discover that learning to present themselves to an audience of three, or of three thousand, becomes vital the more senior you get.
They take comfort and delight in realising you don't have to know it all on your first day or even in your first decade.
How Far Have You Come?
Through our coaching sessions, my clients discover that surface-level networking keeps them invisible.
Going deep—even in brief interactions—creates the connections that lead to opportunities.
It's a good reminder to ask yourself: "What part of office communication do I now know that would have impressed my younger self?"
Remember how far you've come and where you are still honing your office communication skills, on and off the clock.
Ready to enhance your stakeholder communication strategies even further?
If you're curious what coaching could offer e-mail me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll discuss your biggest workplace challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
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The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
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