Dealing with difficult co-workers is exhausting.

Especially when they take your ideas without credit.

Or tell senior leaders your team isn't thinking proactively enough.

Or make you dread every single meeting.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.

And no, the answer isn't "just ignore them" or "rise above it."

There's a better way.

One that actually transforms the relationship rather than just helping you endure it.

When I last spoke with Sarah, an executive coaching client, she faced an upcoming meeting with Darren.

She was absolutely dreading it.Why?

Their first meeting had gone badly.

Sarah shared a template with Darren to help him.

He took it, filtered it through his own lens, and presented it to their senior leader.

Without giving Sarah any credit. Worse?

He told that same leader he wasn't impressed with Sarah's team.

Said they weren't thinking 'proactively enough'.

Now Sarah had to have regular one-to-ones with him.

The thought filled her with dread.

Sound familiar?

Dealing with difficult co-workers like this can drain your energy for days.

I challenged her perspective: "Remember where you were. How much did you trust Rob when you first started working together?"

She laughed. "Not at all!"

Then I asked: "What do other people think about Rob?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Other people find him difficult too. He's a tough nut for everyone."

Exactly. And what about Darren?

"Now that I think about it, other people think Darren is difficult too!

They've told me so."

This realization grounded Sarah.

She'd been in this situation before with Rob.

She'd turned that relationship around.

She could do it again with Darren.

Before your next difficult meeting, try this exercise:

Think of someone you previously found difficult but now work well with:

• Who were they?

• What specifically shifted the dynamic?

• What did you do that made the difference?

Now apply those lessons:

• What questions could you ask instead of defending?

• What patterns from past success could you use now?

• What would shift if you approached this person with curiosity instead of dread?

Sarah's story with Rob proved she could transform difficult relationships.

That past success gave her confidence for dealing with Darren.

What past success could fuel your confidence now?

Several months later, Sarah reported back.

The relationship with Darren had completely transformed.

Not overnight. Not magically.

But steadily.

By asking questions instead of defending.

By approaching him with curiosity instead of dread.

By remembering she'd done this before with Rob.

Darren went from someone she dreaded to someone she could work with strategically.

The same approach that worked with "Difficult Rob" worked with "Difficult Darren."

And it can work for you too.

Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.

We'll discuss your biggest workplace challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.

Most of my clients are employer-funded!

Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I CAN help you get there.

Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.

For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.

She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieve Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."

80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.

Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.