His Comment Was Shocking. Her Response Was Calculated.
When Colleagues Steal Credit for Your Ideas
Ever stay silent during a shocking comment, then regret not speaking up?
Professor Dame Athene Donald didn't regret her silence.
She used it strategically.
In a virtually all-male committee meeting, a colleague publicly complained that "women were getting the best roles."
He felt men were "suffering from reverse discrimination."
She was the only woman in the room.
The Pattern She Had to Break
There were times Donald felt ignored simply because she was a woman.
Her ideas got accepted only after men suggested them.
She'd learned controlling emotions was crucial saying: "If you think you'll get upset, you probably will."
But this comment was the final straw.
The Strategic Choice
She received coaching to prepare for confronting him.
The coaching helped her depersonalize it.
She approached him privately.
Not in the heat of the moment.
When she was prepared and calm.
Have you needed to be in this place?
What She Actually Said
"We talked about communication skills and how people don't always know how they come across.
"I gave him the example of what he'd said and how it made me feel as the only woman in the room."
She remembered: 'He seemed genuinely shocked and surprised.'
The Result
Over time, things improved between them.
He'd been blindsided he didn't get the promotion he'd felt he deserved.
It was a feeling Dr. Donald herself had experienced many times before.
Her restraint during the meeting wasn't weakness.
It was strategy.
She didn't react immediately.
She responded when she could be most effective, and potentially be most heard.
Ready to Better Handle Difficult Workplace Dynamics?
Email me at suzanne@doylemorris.com for a complimentary chemistry call.
We'll explore your biggest challenge and whether a 12-month coaching partnership makes sense for you.
Most of my clients are employer-funded.
Yes, your company will likely pay for this and I can help you through that goal.
Learn more: www.suzannedoylemorris.com
About Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris
Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with a PhD from the University of Cambridge focusing on women in Engineering.
For 25 years, she's coached accomplished women in STEM as they advance to senior leadership.
She's the author of three books: "Beyond the Boys' Club: Strategies for Achieving Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field," "The Con Job: Getting Ahead for Competence in a World Obsessed with Confidence," and "Female Breadwinners: How They Make Relationships Work and Why they are Future of the Modern Workforce."
80% of her clients secure promotions or stretch roles within 12 months.
Not because she gives advice, but because she asks the right questions.
Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
Blog Categories
FREE GUIDE
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance.
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide.
It's designed solely for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out.
Drawing on over 25 years of coaching, research and consultancy, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under-recognised to confident, visible leaders.
Latest on the blog
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
Engaging Events and Executive Coaching for Technical Experts moving in Senior Leadership