We looked at the evidence.

Sarah had taken two months to handle her father's death.

Her boss had been surprisingly understanding.

He'd told her he didn't expect her to get this new role perfect.

She could ask for more help.

Sarah realised the crushing expectations came predominantly from herself.

I reflected back what I was hearing.

Colleagues who pleasantly surprised her, resources she'd found useful, observation skills she'd honed amongst a largely male team, and the realisation that she didn't have to solve every problem alone.

Indeed, when she'd asked others for help, no one expected her to be the sole problem solver anyway.

She laughed: "Even as I say that, I hear how ridiculous it was for me to think I'm the only one with all the answers!"

"What's the value of this evidence for you?" I asked.

Sarah paused. "It means I don't have to be so frightened of getting things wrong. My self-doubt doesn't need to be so overwhelming. After all, I've got evidence that I can get through virtually anything."

That's leadership resilience—not avoiding hard things, but discovering you can navigate them.

AI can list resilience strategies.

It can't stay present whilst you sit with the gap between who you thought you'd be and who you actually are.

It can't reflect back the evidence you're dismissing because you're focused on what went wrong.

With 25 years coaching senior women in STEM, I've seen repeatedly how accomplished women discount their own leadership resilience.

They survived challenges they thought would break them.

Then they immediately move to the next thing without acknowledging what that survival offers them.