I asked what had shifted for her over the year we'd worked together.

She reflected: "I shut down the overtaking and unhelpful voices in my head faster.

I stick to evidence-based facts and avoid turning everything into a catastrophe.

Overthinking what I 'should have done' ruined my sleep, my evenings with my kids, my weekends. I'm done with that."

I noticed her energy when she talked about being "done."

Not defeated. Determined.

Samantha laughed: "Let's be clear, I'm not perfect.

But you helped me see Jim wasn't doing me any favours by bringing me into the upper echelon—I'd earned it after a decade of hard work and perhaps misplaced loyalty.

I'm just cycling out of every disaster that's primarily in my own head far faster."

Samantha had discovered that a fantastic senior woman had been headhunted externally but turned down even interviewing.

She took strength from hearing that the candidate said: "You don't have any senior women in your leadership team. I can't fix the mess that groupthink likely creates in your organisation."

Wow!

Reading that, Samantha realised many of her challenges weren't "all in her head."

AI can list strategies for dealing with toxic workplaces.

It can't help you sit with the uncomfortable question: Has the environment changed, or have your standards?

It can't notice the energy shift when you move from defending your boss to seeing patterns clearly.

With a PhD from Cambridge and 25 years coaching senior women in STEM, I've seen this repeatedly.

Many employers want coaches to retain good people longer.

Often that works—80% of my clients get promoted or stretch roles within 12 months.

But this is the risk of executive coaching: building confidence sometimes means people recognise they deserve better.

Smart employers know that great people who no longer believe in their culture will find new homes elsewhere.