One Hour vs. Two Weeks of Rumination
The Mental Energy You're Wasting
A client spent two weeks debating whether to apply for a VP role internally about which she'd been approached.
The role itself looked good.
Interesting work.
More influence.
Better compensation.
But here's what kept her up at night: If she applied and got it, she'd be committing to stay at the company for at least another two years.
Was she ready to make that commitment?
So she had sleepless nights.
Entire weekends consumed by pros and cons lists.
She talked it through with friends.
With her partner.
With her mentor.
The conversations went in circles.
Why even Well-Meaning Advice didn't Help
Everyone wanted "the best" for her.
But their version of "the best" was often based on what they - even subconsciously - wanted.
Her partner wanted stability and predictability.
He was having his own challenges so that was understandable.
Her friends wanted her to be happy.
But they each defined "happy" differently based on their own values.
Her mentor wanted her to advance, in part likely motivated to bolster his own reputation.
To not "waste" her potential.
All were well-meaning.
All caring. None neutral.
She wasn't just wrestling with the decision.
She was wrestling with everyone else's version of what she should want.
What Happened in One Coaching Session
In our one-hour session, we got underneath the surface question.
"What worries you - the role itself, or what staying at this company means for you?"
Long pause.
"Oh. The company. The role is actually fine. Great, even."
She had clarity within 20 minutes. Clarity from which we can strategise.
The role wasn't the problem.
The question of whether to commit to staying was.
Once we named THAT question - HER actual question, not anyone else's - the path forward became obvious.
Why Rumination is so Expensive
When you ruminate, you cycle through the same thoughts, assumptions, and fears repeatedly.
Should I apply? What if I get it? What if I don't?
What does it mean about me either way?
When you talk it through with people you love, you're also navigating THEIR hopes, fears, and agendas.
Their assumptions played on top of your own.
This happens even when they're trying to be helpful.
After all they love you!
It FEELS like problem-solving. It feels productive.
But actually?
You're just avoiding the real question underneath.
Or layering everyone else's version on top of yours.
The problems senior women wrestle with for weeks usually get solved quickly in focused conversation with someone who has no stake in the outcome.
Not because I have magic answers.
Because talking it through with someone truly neutral surfaces YOUR assumptions, not theirs.
What my Clients Say
"I got more clarity in one hour with you than in two weeks of thinking and talking about it with everyone else."
Because rumination keeps you stuck circling the same thoughts.
And even well-meaning advice isn't neutral.
Conversation with someone who has no agenda except helping you find YOUR clarity?
That forces you forward.
And you don't have weeks of mental energy to waste navigating everyone else's version of what you should want.
Ready to stop ruminating?
Subscribe to my newsletter for insights on strategic decision-making or contact me at suzanne@doylemorris.com to book a free chemistry call.
Welcome to my Blog
I'm Dr Suzanne Doyle‑Morris and I support professional women working in STEM.
Whether you’re seeking your next promotion, aiming for leadership, or simply looking to make your mark, this blog is created for you.
It's written for the ambitious woman in STEM ready to advance and succeed on her own terms.
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The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook
Your roadmap to advancement with balance
The Women in Tech Promotion Playbook is a practical, evidence-based guide designed for ambitious women in STEM who want to advance their careers without burning out. Drawing on over 25 years of coaching and research, I outline five strategic steps that help women move from being overworked and under recognised to confident, visible leaders.
